Shorthand

I like shorthand.  Nobody knows what it is and I like it.  Perhaps there is one teacher in this entire school who can read it, and even then she wouldn't try as she has better things to do.  I can write it fast, not ridiculously fast like I should be able to, but passably fast as to astound those less-enlightened individuals around me.


Shorthand is a system of speedwriting that used to be used by stenographers as well as for dictation.  Because of that, it is really quite good for taking notes, assuming you're good enough to read back the scribbles that you just stabbed down.  I started learning it because I was annoyed in class; now when people ask to borrow my notes so that their lazy ass can copy them, I just hand them the sheet of shorthand.  The expression on their faces is to die for.  This is something that everyone has to try at least once before they die.

When I'm not slogging through some menial busywork or waiting for my brain to die, I write these endless diatribes in shorthand in my notebook.  There are pages and pages of tiny scribbles that hide horrible secrets the likes of which I will not repeat here.  I would say everyone should learn shorthand, but then it wouldn't be special anymore, and once more, you could read what I write in class (which I am fairly sure would bring about the end of the world.)